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    你的朋友圈里,還有朋友嗎?

    1

    前兩天,還在念書的表妹打來電話抱怨:為了發朋友圈,周末特意起早,趕去看了趟日出,挑了幾張美美的照片發朋友圈。過后一看,差點吐血,寥寥幾個贊躺那里,別提多尷尬了。

    最難受的是,連關系最親密的那兩位朋友也沒有任何表示。表妹說,感覺自己被冷落了,問我有沒有過類似的經歷?

    有的,這種被冷落的感覺,也許很多人都經歷過。可是回過頭來看,評論和贊又能代表什么呢?

    你的朋友圈里,還有朋友嗎?

    我以前也喜歡發朋友圈,也在意自己是不是被關注。那時發條動態,看到底下一排排的評論,不可否認,真的很高興。最多的時候,我的通訊錄里有432個人,而扎心的事情是,那時我因為生病住了次院,發現能打電話的人只有兩個。

    在沒有朋友圈之前,能打電話的人,是那兩個;在有了朋友圈之后,能打電話的人,還是那兩個。這事說起來有點兒諷刺,但又讓人很觸動。

    朋友圈常常讓人誤以為,越熱鬧就擁有得越多,而不聯系不互動就是失去。但有句話是這樣說的:很多顯得像朋友的人,其實不一定是朋友;而很多是朋友的人,倒并不顯得像朋友。

    時間久了你會發現,朋友圈的友誼,有時候真的不過是一場喧囂卻并不走心。

    2

    在你看不到的地方,多的是你不知道的事。就像他們說的:那些朋友圈每條都為你點贊的人,也許連你發的是什么都不會看完;那些動不動就夸你自拍多漂亮的人,也許私下會偷偷吐槽你是不是P了圖;那些有事沒事在微信里和你寒暄的人,也許心里藏著不為人知的小九九。

    這樣的烏龍,在我身上真實地發生過。

    去年因為工作原因,被外調杭州生活了一段時間。初來乍到,又是一個人,干什么都沒勁。后來上陶藝課的時候認識了一個很聊得來的朋友,叫阿喵。

    我說不喜歡吃杭州的糖醋魚,阿喵點頭如搗蒜;我說喜歡杭州的氣候,阿喵也一個勁地夸贊;我的每一條動態,阿喵都不缺席,還總是評得妙趣橫生,讓人看了忍俊不禁。口味相投,興趣相投,那陣子,我們常常在微信上聊得火熱。

    直到后來,被阿喵拉著購買了一堆保健品。吃到身體出了毛病才察覺不對,網上一搜,全是三無產品。

    還未來得及打電話過去質問,發現自己不知何時已被悄悄拉進了黑名單。

    失望嗎?答案是肯定的。

    當然,并不是說朋友圈里的情都是塑料情。但仔細想想,那個常常跟你互動的人、看似關系親密的人,私下里你們真的可以交心嗎?

    3

    有些朋友,是你出事了,他就走了;有些朋友,是你出事了,他就來了。

    人生這么長,誰不會出現幾次跌入谷底、靠人拉扯一把的情況?擁擠的通訊錄里還能拎出兩個打得通的電話,還能找出兩個愿意幫你的人,你真得放到心坎上,認真去珍惜。

    就像那句話說的:時間識人,而落難識心。與人相處,就是一個大浪淘沙的過程。篩掉的是沙子,留下來的才是金子。能從朋友圈走到現實生活中的人,才是真的在意你。

    我和閨蜜維持了三十多年的交情,閨蜜工作忙,我也不清閑,又一個在南,一個在北,偶爾發條朋友圈,并不常常見到對方的身影。去年,我家里出了點事情,有點棘手,本以為多年來在朋友圈用心經營,與幾位有頭有臉的人物都交情不錯。結果電話打過去,那端不是支支吾吾,就是借口在忙,最后打給閨蜜,得到一句:你在外面就不用操心家里的事情了,我給你顧著。

    這一顧,就顧了快兩月。

    前不久,我才從一位長輩口中得知,閨蜜當時為了替我照顧家里,差點把工作都丟了。但這個插曲,閨蜜只字未提。

    知根知底,一起長大,三十年的情誼經得起很多考驗。無非是,你的事情,我能盡一分力就盡一分力。無非是,你落難,我不會旁觀。無非是,你我之間,處的是交情,而不是功利。

    什么是最棒的交情?我想:應該是各自忙亂,互相牽掛;應該是久處不厭,閑談不煩,從不敷衍,絕不怠慢;應該是你活在我的心里,而不必活在我的朋友圈里。


    來源:夜聽(ID: yetingfm)|? 作者:李意外

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